I've made the switch

Hey guys,

I have switched over to blogging at wordpress.com. Find my new blog @ http://carrieross.wordpress.com/

Stuck in this whirlwind called life

Carrie = 50 mph < Life = 150 mph

My math equation (remember I am political science major) accurately describes my life; it seems life has been zooming by while I hold on for dear life.

I was critized by one of my blog readers that I haven't updated in 13 days, but personally there hasn't been anything blog worthy or that I feel is open for public discussion and blog reading...
All of that to say, I am just going to update, so it could get long.

Something really neat I have been able to do over the past few weeks is help my political science professor gather voting statistics for a campaign for 2010. It has been fun to learn how the beginning steps work and what I would need to do and know to run for office.

Bible study, the one I am leading, has been so awesome. The girls are becoming so much more comfortable and we have the faithful 8 or 9 that have a true passion to grow in the Lord. I love seeing their beautiful faces week after week. I feel so blessed to be able to lead them and have been given this oppurtunity. God is so good.

School = yuck! Classes are seriously kicking my butt; however, I am managing to survive with A's and B's. I made an 83 on my last Russian test which was so exciting because it was ten points higher than my last exam.

Oh last weekend was Campus Crusade's Fall Retreat! It was so awesome to get away, spend time with my friends, grow deeper in my walk, and enjoy the beautiful fall weather in the mountains. I got to know some of my freshmen bible study girls better too, which is always exciting. It could not have been a better weekend.

Whew, that is a lot of rambling about absolute nonsense. Basically life is busy and a roller coaster of emotional chaos, but God is faithful throughout it all and I am growing so much just waiting on His plan and timing in my life.

October...

I am not a big fan of October...actually if it wasn't for God's amazing grace and love I would simply hate October. I should probably explain shouldn't I?

October is full of some pretty bad memories for me. Sophomore year of high school I lost my boyfriend, pretty much all of my friends, and turned my back on God during this dreadful month. But see this is where I debate on whether the month is good or bad. Now, God really uses my 'october' to minister to people. Because of what I went through and learning what its like to hit rock bottom before I fully rely on Him I wouldn't be who I am today without October.
Thinking about it, God really likes getting my attention during the month of October...hm. Senior year of highschool at the end of October I found out my mom was sick, once again causing me to fall flat on my face before relying on God. I would say I have mastered the art of reliance and falling on my face, but regretfully I say I still struggle.

I don't know why I decided to write about my 'october' but lets be honest, it kinda gets me down. I rejoice in the power of Jesus to save me from the horrible memories of sophomore year and heal my mom but memories don't disappear easily. So, it is my goal to rejoice this month about being alive with the knowledge that God has conquered my past and the grave!

I don't know what your "October" is, but rejoice in the power of the cross! Rejoice in the blessed assurance of Jesus Christ. :)

Happiness

Today BooMama wrote a list of 25 random things that make her happy, and I decided it would be fun to write 25 random things too. Not to mention, I am procrastinating...

1. popsicles
2. getting letters in the mail
3. family
4. the beach
5. laughing with someone who has a similar sense of humor
6. taking pictures
7. meeting someone from Russia
8. college football
9. eating a pretzel at the mall
10. ferris wheels
11. dressing up
12. reading
13. Nicholas Sparks
14. cuddling
15. playgrounds
16. hiking -- mountains in general
17. Atlantic Station (in Atl.)
18. gymnastics
19. music
20. Dunkin Donuts boston creme doughnuts
21. traveling late at night
22. airplanes
23. scrapbooking
24. Barnes and Noble
25. friends

What about you? Leave a comment or write it on your own blog. Have a wonderful day.

How Great Is Our God

We sang one of my favorite songs tonight at Crusade, How Great Is Our God. One reason I love this song so much is because this summer when I was in Russia we sang it at church Sunday morning. It was incredible being able to sing this song in Russian and have my team members around me singing in English. I truly feel how great God is when I can sing my praises to Him in another language and know that he doesn't care about my accent or if I am using the correct grammar. He just appreciates my open heart of worship and praise. I still tear up whenever I sing that song now because it has taken on such a deeper meaning. I hear the words to that song resonate in my heart, and know that God is great and his greatness is everywhere around me.

Наш бог так белик
ной со мнои
Наш бог так белик
Бсе мы бидим

Kaleo: to be called

I'm not exactly sure how to gather all my thoughts about this weekend into one comprehendable blog post. It was more than I expected on some levels and way off from my expectations on other levels.

I guess the big picture I took away from this weekend is to be more open about God's plan for my life. Because of my heart for Russian and specifically orphans I had began to center my focus on working with orphans in Russia. God really opened my eyes this weekend that I, without a doubt have a calling to Russia, but I don't know the rest of the story.

We had three different large sessions with all the conference attendees. Doctor Alvin Reid, Derwin Gray, and J.D. Greear spoke on different aspects of being called. In those I definitely realized that I am called to missions, but right now my mission field is Clemson and I need to make sharing the gospel with the campus my priority. J.D. Greear, pastor at The Summit Church, talked about not sitting and waiting on God to spell out a country or whatever in your cheerios. I was definitely convicted of waiting on God to spell out Russia in my cheerios and not taking advantage of all the lost souls around me.

Another point that really hit home was how awesome, in a sense, my testimony is and how it can be so powerful. One of the breakout sessions talked about our PLACE in ministry and how much our past experiences can be a great way to consider how to minister to others. I was sitting there and felt God really say to me, "this is what I'm talking about..." I had never really thought about God using me in Russia to minister to teenage girls going through what I faced in highschool. All of that kind of goes with being open to what God will have me to do in Russia and not to dare close any doors!

This was an incredible weekend of encouragment having 200 other highschool, college, and seminary students around me facing the same challenges as me. Not to mention, Caitlin and I had a ton of laughs and ten hours to play catch-up.

Plus...I won a me-sized painting of Jesus >>

And no I'm not even kidding!

Clemson football and best friends

This past weekend Ashley came to Clemson to see me! :) It was so good to see her and have a conversation face-to-face. If she hadn't come up now, it might have been until November until we saw each other, which is very sad.

Anyways, she skipped class Friday and drove from Auburn to Clemson and got here around 3:30. We walked downtown, hung out, and did some quick catching up. We had Just More BBQ for dinner, oo yum!! And then went and saw my parents for awhile and then she escaped to see someone special. ;)

Saturday was GAMEDAY! Despite the heat it was an amazing game, for two reasons. One my best friend was there and two Crusade was front row! A bunch of my friends painted up to spell CLEMSON, which resulted in us being on tv and the jumbo-tron multiple times. :)

Oh Ashley experienced Harcombe before the game! And even admitted that running down the hill was one of the coolest traditions ever. Not to mention this was the first she ever stayed for an entire football game, Auburn doesn't have very good fans. haha

Ashley left Sunday and made it safely back to Auburn, but only after experiencing a REAL football game. So an incredible weekend was had and I am so excited about this weekend with the Kaleo conference and seeing Caitlin.

Christian sisterhood

Tonight after Crusade Caroline, Mandy, and I took a spur of the moment drive. We all three had stuff to do and needed to sleep but had so much on our minds we needed to just 'go.' It was incredible and just what I needed. Oh how God is good. I was able to just pour my heart out about classes, stress load, boys <--patience in God's timing, and relationships with people here at Clemson. It was a sweet time of listening to one another, giving and getting Godly advice, and learning more about each other.

I am so thankful for the friends God has blessed me with here at Clemson. I am surronded by Godly men and women that care for me and look out for me. I couldn't make it through days like today without girls like them by my side!! <3

God is good, all the time!

Last spring I was asked to pray about leading a freshmen girls Bible study, well after praying about it and considering my schedule I really felt led to lead a group of girls this year. Last week was the first week Anna Beth and I led our group of girls (who live in Manning.)

Anyways last week we had 20!!! girls come to small group. It was incredible to see an eagerness and a desire to grow from these girls. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. I already love these girls to death and want to get to know them so much better! Their consistency in coming to Crusade, asking questions, and even participating in discussion the first week blew me away. I really shouldn't be surprised because God is just that good! :)

On top of all that, my bible study is WOW! I left Megan's house Monday night mentally exhausted because of the depth we are taking this year. I sat there with such a peace and I could feel God surronding his beautiful daughters with a deep love and joy. I can't imagine how he feels to see all of us gathered, reading his word, discussing our struggles, and growing more intimate with Him. We are starting 1 Peter next week and man am I stoked! Pastor Johnny did an expository series of 1 Peter when I was in highschool but I have matured spiritually since then and I cannot wait for what I will learn.

On top of all that is this thing called school. YUCK!

TWO MONTHS

Yep, you read that correctly...so to rewind a little bit.

This summer while I was in Russia I spoke to one of the pastors and leo about staying longer than 10 days in Russia. Yesterday I got an email from Mike about the 10 day Russia trip and that reminded me to email Leo about the entire summer. So, here it goes...Leo and the pastor want me for 2 months!! I would help with the youth, different church activities, teach ESL, go to summer camps, orphanages, and be a PR for TEAR. Omgosh my excitement is bubbling over! Granted I am definitely going to pray hard and long about this and see what happens with studying in St. Petersburg but seriously...two months spending with the sweet people I love so dearly! AAHH!

words of wisdom

Not a lot to say but I have some words of wisdom from Elisabeth Elliot, author of "Passion and Purity"

-"I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainity, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts."

Just medidate on that when you feel like screaming because of all the unanswered questions life tends to throw at you and don't worry, we are all facing them. I am clueless as to what I am going to do with my major, passion for writing, and my desire to share Jesus Christ with the people of Russia. I am scared but not full of doubt because God has the answers!

Just some food for thought! :)

a 100 miles a minute

Wow, the past 7 days have been non-stop madness. I moved into Clemson last Friday, helped freshmen move in on Saturday, went to church Sunday morning then left Sunday evening for the Crusade Leadership Retreat..got very little sleep then came home Monday afternoon.

Monday afternoon I got to help Crusade with the organization fair and met soo many girls for the bible study Anna Beth and I are leading. Then Tuesday night was our first Crusade for the year! It was fantastic. The worship was good, I was able to share a little bit about small groups, and what mine meant to me last year. Then on Wednesday Manning had the first small group kick-off. There were 19 girls!! It was so exciting! I am pumped for what God has in store for this year in the entire Crusade. Tonight was a bowling outreach. Tomorrow is a cook-out for crusade!

Not to mention I am stressed about classes because I have some pretty hard classes. Anyways, that is what is going on in my life. Please be praying that I use my time wisely and glorify God in everything I am involved in this year.

Love you guys!

The Need to Break Down

Have you ever felt the need to just cry and the tears just wouldn't flow. I have kind of felt like that lately, especially Sunday night. See on Monday I had surgery to have all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. Not that big of a deal right? Well I don't do well with needles, blood, surgery..etc. And I was even more worried about my blood sugar cause I couldn't eat. They ended up adding sugar water to my IV. Despite my worrying, God was in control and I am recovering fine.

Because of my surgery I am having to lay around during my last week at home. I only get to see Ashley one day this week until who knows when, I don't like that at all. Granted I leave Friday to go back to Clemson, which I am ecstatic about, but once I get there my life is gonna be in high speed until Thanksgiving. Between football games, crusade, bible study x 2, classes, and the Kaleo conference I am really beginning to freak myself out.

But despite all my complaining I am recovering from surgery just fine, and I know that God is going to do awesome things this semester even with my hectic schedule if I devote my time to Him. So, that is kinda where I am right now. Ready to be back at school but savoring these last moments at home for awhile.

Lastly, I have a really serious prayer request, for the 3 or 4 people that read this. The Russia trip for next year is being prayed about right now. Not that it isn't always, but right now because of politics, gas prices, and money in general it might not happen. This alone has brought me to tears multiple times a day. I can't really grasp not going over there to see my sweet Eliza and Yana, their beautiful faces and precious hearts! So, despite the desires of my heart, I must pray that God's will be done in the decision the leaders of the team make.

With that,
Я люблю Вас всех, (I love you all)
До свидания (Goodbye)

Beloved and Forgiven

Here I go again guys, expressing my obsession with Tenth Avenue North, which I will be tying into with a word from my dear friend Beth Moore; so..here we go.

These lyrics have been a recent prayer of mine, that I would stop searching and let God do the match-making. I have messed up trying to find someone that would satisfy, but no one will satisfy until I am satisfied as God's beautiful bride. So the lyrics are...

Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life

Cause you're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
& it binds you to me

And to tie in with my friend Beth Moore's words:
This past week one of the days was about God not keeping a record of our wrongs, and I always knew that but never fully grasped it. Recently, most specifically Tuesday when I was doing Psalms 130, I realized that I was the only person remembering what I did in the past. If God kept a record of wrong, who would be able to stand. I LOVE IT, just thinking about the fact that God has no recollection of what I did...almost unbelievable. It is amazing though, to remember this when I just feel like I am in a rut. To remember that God doesn't remember my past, and looks at me like a beautiful bride.

Lift Us Up to Fall

So a friend of mine, Caitlin, introduced me to a new band, Tenth Avenue North. And recently I have become quite addicted to them. For those that know Needtobreathe and like them, you'll like Tenth Avenue North. Anyways, by far my favorite song is Lift Us Up to Fall.

We’re waiting here
Waiting for you God
With our hopes and fears
We come empty hands held out
Lord draw us near
Heal these broken hearts
And lift us up to fall before everything you are

That's the chorus and it just reminds me of how unworthy we are to have the oppurtunity to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We do have empty hands and broken hearts, but we can come to God with all of that. The last line of the chorus has become my daily prayer lately; that God would lift me and bless my life so much that I can do nothing but fall at His feet and worship Him for all that He is. Maybe this makes no sense to anyone that actually reads this, but it has really hit home for me. Basically, I am striving to live in an attitude or worship towards my Father in Heaven.

So, thats that. Life is good, God is good (all the time). I am in a friend's wedding on Saturday and I am so excited for her. In a few weeks friends from Clemson are coming to go to a Hootie and the Blowfish concert, then I'll hopefully be going to the beach with the Big Ash, and next it is time for SCHOOL! Yes, I am excited about going back to school, not necessarily my classes but everything else. More to come about all of the awesome opportunities awaiting me in Clemson.

до свидания!!

Moving past but not away

love: everlasting, unconditional, beautiful, leaves me speechless, friendship, family, warm, magnificent

Recently I logged onto facebook and had an invite from Doc Reid at Southeastern Seminary for a conference being held there. The conference is called Kaleo, to be called, and is for college and some highschool students feeling a call on their life for vocational ministry. Now, I have no aspirations; nor do I feel it is my place, to be a deacon or pastor, but I do know God has given me a heart for the people of Russia and a passion to learn the language. So, to make a long story short I discussed this with my parents, called my good friend Caitlin, and it is officially a road trip. I am ecstatic. I get to spend a weekend learning about God's call on my life and how I can use the gifts he has given me.
Please be praying that the details fall into place, gas prices go down, and God's perfect will is done in this situation.

As for my title: I miss Russia and I am sad to be done blogging about my trip exclusively, but the beautiful country is never forgotten in my heart.

The last is always the hardest

Going three times doesn't make the last day any easier. During Saturday, the last day at the orphanage, three local churches put on a cookout in celebration of "Friends Day." It's a new holiday that the orphanage started so that every year the kids can remember everyone who has helped them.
On Saturday morning we got a tour of the entire orphanage grounds and all the different separate buildings on the grounds. One of the saddest parts was seeing the greenhouse that is no longer in use because the government won't pay to fix it or do any repairs. The greenhouse usesd to supply the orphanage with a lot of fruits and vegetables, but now they just buy them for more or go without
After the tour we set up the awana store for the kids to trade in their "grapes" from memorizing verses in order to buy toys, jewelry, and sports equipment.
The last part of the afternoon was set up so that the pastor of the church had his band play Christian music and perform a gospel presentation within a dramatic skit. Then the kids performed their usual skit. After all of this the orphanage presented some gifts and we presented all of our gifts to the kids, including t-shirts, goodie bags, and bibles.
All of this always leads to the tearful goodbyes. I never forget the looks on the faces of the kids when we leave. They are so precious and it is a blessing beyond comprehension to realize that if God keeps me from ever going back then I will undoubtely see those children in heaven!!

So, that is the orphanage details, I will post a bit about what we did the rest of the time we were there.

день три

Look how on top of things I am, Day 3 only two days after Day 2.

Our third day at the orphanage was Friday, the day I was responsible for teaching the bible lesson. We opened the day up with a general assembly with a skit, some music, and a testimony. The skit corresponded with my Bible lesson, The Widow's Mite. The skit went really well.

When I taught the three different age groups I asked someone or different people to tell me what happened during the skit they saw earlier. It was soo amazing to see these kids rattle off all the details of the skit, WITH ENTHUSIASIM. I didn't really have to do much explaining of the Bible lesson because they already knew the details. I just asked questions and made a connection of how even though they do not have a lot of material things God only wants their heart. To remphasize the point I gave each of them ONE piece of candy and asked them to not keep it, but give it away to a friend in the orphanage. I hope they did, I don't know for sure, but I know God worked in their hearts.

The rest of the day was fun; I played outside with the kids for awhile, and took cool pictures with my new camera. That evening for dinner we went to the workers homes. I went with the Masseys and Nealeys. The lady's home we went to is a Night Caretaker, so basically she makes sure the kids stay in their room and she gets them all in bed at night. We found out one of the boys who graduated last year is staying with her while he is in school, Praise God for people like her to make sure these kids stay on track!!! He is going to mechanic school and then will be able to get a job and make something of himself despite his situation.

The long awaited Day 2

So, for those that read this, thank Lindsey for making me actually finish.

Day two started with me sharing a devotion on the way to the orphange! It went really well. At the end of the school year I had been challenged by Megan to memorize an entire chapter of scripture, I chose Psalm 18. So, during my devotion I shared some thoughts on the first few verses. The first two verses talk about different characteristics of God: strength, delieverer, fortress, rock/refuge, shield, and ultimately our salvation. Anyways, I shared how God was those things specifically on our trip. Everyone really liked it and it was great to get a glimpse of what I'll do every week leading my bible study with Anna Beth for Crusade!

During the second day I stayed in music to help with the kids. It was great because I actually used my Russian! I could remember certain phrases and words to at least get the kids to do something. In the afternoon during the tea with the orphanage teachers and caregivers I shared my testimony. It was great sharing my heart about God's everlasting love. Despite all of my worrying God used my words to speak to this girl who was a grandaughter of one of the workers. Later we talked and I learned that she went through similar stuff after a boy broke up with her and her world fell apart.

I was able to talk to one of the translators and learn about her, where she learned English, what she does, and her family. It is neat to develop a relationship with the ladies in Russia, she even invited me to stay with her family next year if I stay in Russia longer.

After dinner I learned a few more things about Eliza. She will be 13 in July, in the 4th grade, and during the summer she goes to camp and spends a week or so with her family. (She has a mom, sister, nephew, and grandmother still living).

Thursday was also the sad day my camera deleted a ton of pictures, but I made up for it and took plenty more!

Well that was Thursday, enjoy!

Russia, Day 1

The first day at the orphanage was incredible. Sarah (my roomie) and I only had a few minutes to get ready Wednesday though because my alarm clock didn't go off. Someone woke us up once the bus was already there.
Anyways once we got to the orphanage for some reason the kids were still in class, so we stalled a little and then had the general assembly. We performed the skit that corresponded with the bible lesson, The Good Samaritan, that was being taught later that day. The kids really enjoyed the skit and answered all the questions that Sandy asked them! Throughout the day I stayed in music, which was really great and my Russian was actually helpful!

One really neat thing that we got to do this year was create a memory verse booklet, like VBS, that contained 17 memory verses for the kids to memorize. Well we created this giant vine and each kid had a leaf with their name on it and each time they passed off a memory verse they got a grape to go on their leaf! This was truly amazing to watch these kids memorize verses and be excited about it; not to mention I had the privledge of listening to them recite their verses.

More to come later, that is only one day out of many.